Sooooo Your Therapist Left You? What Do You Do Now?

Real talk on finding a therapist who actually gets you: plus a bilingual guide to affordable online therapy, a la culturally relevant.

Okay so this has happened to me more than once. And no; they didn't really leave me. I know that. But it always feels like it when I really like one.

If you've ever gotten that email or that "I'm transitioning out of this practice" talk from a therapist you finally clicked with, you already know the specific little heartbreak I'm talking about. You did the work. You got comfortable. You said the hard stuff out loud. And now you have to start over with a stranger? Ugh.

So let's talk about it, what to do now, how I search for a therapist, and the actual research I did this time around (with prices), because my deductible is not cute and maybe yours isn't either.

First, let me take you back

I had my first therapist when I came back from UC Santa Cruz. I basically dropped out, okay, withdrew, let's be technical, but hey, I still had a 3.5 GPA, so yay. Depressed but still did good. That was me. High Functioning Anxiety because that's how I do things.

I was clearly not in a good state. I'd lost some weight and wasn't really eating, and when I did, it was mostly fruit just to stay alive. My lovely roommate at the time, Meagan, this little white girl from San Diego, would take me to the dining hall with her so we could go eat together. She was, and is, the best. We're not in contact anymore; things just drift apart. But I will never forget her. My first-ever roommate. Together we were the SoCal girls, totally different from each other, but we took care of each other.

Anyway, I got back to LA after that and immediately started researching what I had to do to get back into the university system, all while still depressed. I enrolled at ELAC,[1] the local community college, and got into the EOPS program,[2] which helped me with financial aid and other resources. I'm pretty sure they're the ones who pointed me toward the therapist's office. I honestly can't fully recall but either way, I started seeing a therapist there.

She was this little old Asian lady. I don't think she really understood me. But back in 2007–2008, when I was still scared of medication, the moment I heard her suggest it, I was suddenly "cured". I got my motivation right back, worked my way up, and eventually got into UCSD. (And yes, it was "free." I'm sure the government or the college was footing the bill somehow, but I wasn't paying out of pocket.)

I'm laughing about it now, but honestly, that fear-based "motivation" was just survival mode. Whatever it took to keep moving.

The one thing I've always asked for

From then on, I kept going to therapy. My providers have mostly been white, and here's the one thing I have always requested: at least a woman.

This applies to my medical providers too. Mind you, I didn't get to choose as a kid; my childhood doctor was a man, because that's what was available locally on Medi-Cal. But as an adult? It is so odd to me to have a male therapist. There isn't an ounce of me that wants to talk to a man about my issues, at least not a cis-gender straight man, let's be clear. Anything outside of that, I'm probably open to. But not that.

And over the years, my list got longer and more specific. Now I also look for a therapist who understands:

• The first-gen experience: being the child of immigrants, carrying things our parents may not have had the language for.[3]

• The immigrant experience: my parents went through, not necessarily to have lived it, but to at least be able to reference and understand it.[4]

• The dynamics of a Latino household: or honestly any culturally rooted household. So much of it overlaps with Asian communities, or even Italian families, because of that shared Catholic upbringing and those same family qualities.[5]

And while it's not always necessary, I think I just get lucky, they often end up speaking Spanish too.

Why you need a list (Yes, YOU!)

Here's what I wish someone had told me at the start: make a list of what you want in a provider. I never had this all written down when I first started. I figured it out the hard way, over years.

I do this for my medical providers too: I request women, I read their backgrounds, what they practice, their family life, how they work. I just want to make sure what they're about sits right with me. Aim for a good provider, not just whoever's available. Like a male Ob/Gyn, heck no. No, thanks! Not for me.

And I've been lucky in that. I haven't had to switch many of my providers or therapists. But I've had one or two I did switch, and that brings me to the other reason you might leave a provider (besides them leaving the practice):

Sometimes they just... suck.

I say this with love, but it's true. And this is exactly why I believe those of us who are people of color or anyone who carries a sense of a culture that's complex, need to have a list of what we want and actually request it. I remind myself all the time: the worst thing they can say, if it's the insurance, is NO. For any thing really, all that can be said is no. That's it. No is survivable. Ask anyway.

The psychiatrist I left (and why)

Let me tell you about the one I switched, because it's a good example of leaving for the right reason.

I went in with an open mind, assuming this older white woman would know what she was doing. And at first, it was great. My Lexapro wasn't working as well anymore, so we needed something else. We landed on Wellbutrin.

Now, funny thing I learned afterward, Wellbutrin isn't typically the go-to for people with anxiety.[6] But it worked fine for me. Still, I told her: hey, I feel like there's just this lingering anxiety. So she also gave me Buspar to take "as needed" when the anxiety hit.

But here's the thing, for me, anxiety isn't an as-needed thing. It's just... there. It doesn't wait around for some big moment to show up. It's there in the background all day.

So she increased my dose. And here's what I didn't know then but know now: different side effects can show up at different doses.[7] This turned out to be the first time I ever had a really bad reaction. From that Monday to Friday, I developed full-blown depression. By Thursday I decided to stop taking it entirely. It was that bad.

When I finally met with her again, all she said was: "Okay, just take the Buspar as needed."

And I just did not feel heard. Because, why would I take something multiple times a day if the anxiety is there all the time? It didn't make sense to me.

Turns out my confusion was completely valid: Buspar (buspirone) genuinely isn't an as-needed medication. It has to be taken consistently, on a schedule, and it takes weeks of regular dosing to even start working, it does nothing for anxiety in the moment.[8] So my gut instinct of this doesn't make sense, was right the whole time.

So I left. I felt some guilt, but I had to remind myself: this happens, and it's okay. And to be clear, I didn't leave because I had a bad side effect. I left because I didn't feel heard. Maybe another white woman provider could help me in the future, sure. But if I can, I'll reach for a culturally competent Latina woman first.

That's that.

Okay, now the actual research (with prices!)

So here's where I'm at now. My deductible for Kaiser is so high that I'd probably meet it eventually just from paying for these therapy sessions, but it's not a normal little copay. It's $150 per session, not the $30 you hear "normal" people talk about. Sooooo.

Since my therapist is leaving, I took it as an opportunity to research other platforms: including BetterHelp, which I'd actually used before and loved my therapist on. Unlike a lot of people's experiences, I had a great one. Again, it all depends on how and what you search for.

So here's a bilingual guide to what's out there. Please still do your own research in case any info has changed: I'll do my best to keep it updated. But if you're like me and either can't afford it with insurance, or don't have insurance at all, here's what I found:

💗 What I found, platform by platform

Rula — This is where my therapist is heading. It's $150 per session right now as self-pay. The pricing supposedly drops eventually, but I couldn't swing that initial intake session or the first several sessions it would take to get there. Not for me right now.

Open Path Collective — Seems great! I did a search and the filters are good, the price is decent (one-time $65 membership, then roughly $40–70 a session). But personally, I didn't spot a provider I felt would be a great match for me, and I didn't see that many Latino options. Still worth a look for you.

Sentio Counseling Center — I got excited on their site, then got sad: there's a waiting list that opens up in a few months. Amazing sliding-scale option (as low as $15), just not available to me right this second.

BetterHelp — Where I've decided to go back to. My same therapist was still assigned and still active (!), and it's $120 a month for 2 video sessions, so about $60 a session, which works great for me affordability-wise. They have other options too (4-session plans and more) also at good prices.

Talkspace — Different in that its packages include the ability to text your therapist. So if you've ever thought "I wish I could just message them" and you have an ongoing issue that might call for that, it could be a great fit. Pricing isn't awful: around $73/week for messaging, and about $115/week for video + messaging + workshops.

Brightside — I did their assessment. Without insurance, it came out to $229/month for my anxiety, therapy only. That plan includes a personalized treatment plan, 1:1 video sessions, interactive lessons and practice, anytime messaging, and progress tracking. The one monthly subscription fee includes 4 therapy sessions. (With insurance, you're responsible for your copay/coinsurance/deductible and insurance covers the rest.)

Therapy for Latinx & Latinx Therapy (directories) — I looked through both and found amazing therapists. Unfortunately, the cheapest ones without insurance were around $100. If I had affordable insurance, I would 1,000% reach out to any of them, that cultural awareness is everything. And here's a tip: they might be in your network when you look them up, so start here in case they take your insurance. And filter!

Grow Therapy — Also loved it. Loved the providers, culturally competent, and I appreciated the cash-vs-insurance option. I think I found one as low as $75, which honestly isn't bad. But for now, I'm sticking with the therapist I found through BetterHelp, since she's Latina and affordable for me.

📄 Want the full side-by-side comparison? I put together a bilingual guide with every platform, out-of-pocket vs. insurance pricing, and the pros and cons of each. Here's a PDF guide, with these comparisons. Hope it helps!

OnlineTherapyReguide.EC.26.pdf

Download PDF • 148KB

The takeaway

Your therapist leaving isn't the end of the world, even if it feels like it in the moment. And sometimes you're the one who leaves, because you didn't feel heard, that's okay too. Either way, you get through it.

So make your list. Figure out what you actually need in a provider and ask for it, out loud, every time. The worst they can say (if it's the insurance) is no, and no just means you keep looking.

You deserve someone who gets you! Your culture, your language, where you come from, all of it. That isn't too much to ask for. That's just wanting to be understood, which honestly, shouldn't be that much to ask.

🌶️ Speaking of owning it...

This blog is tied to our carefully-thought-out (and new to y'all!) "LOCA" papel picado sticker/print! 💐

Because let's be honest! Who hasn't been called a LOCA? Especially if you're on here reading this. 😉 We're taking the word back and wearing it proud, papel-picado style.

👉 Check out the shop / click here to grab your own LOCA sticker and own your LOCA-ness.

With your Salud Mental in mind. 💗 — Educated Chola

📚 Notes & Sources

The following back up the medical points mentioned above. This blog is a personal account, not medical advice — always talk to a licensed provider about your own treatment.

Platform prices are current as of 2026, based on my own research, and subject to change — confirm directly with each platform before booking.

1. ELAC is East Los Angeles College, a public community college in Monterey Park serving the East LA area — one of the largest community colleges in California and part of the Los Angeles Community College District (LACCD). Community colleges like ELAC are a common (and affordable) re-entry point for students transferring into the UC and CSU systems.

2. EOPS stands for Extended Opportunity Programs and Services — a state-funded program offered at all California community colleges. It's designed to help low-income and educationally disadvantaged students enroll, stay enrolled, and transfer, by providing "over and above" support: academic, career, and personal counseling, priority registration, book vouchers, tutoring, transfer assistance, and transfer application fee waivers, among other resources. Students who are single parents receiving public assistance can also access the linked CARE (Cooperative Agencies Resources for Education) program. Eligibility generally requires California residency (or AB540/Dream Act status), full-time enrollment, qualifying for the California College Promise Grant, and meeting an educational-disadvantage criterion such as being a first-generation college student. The personal-counseling piece is very likely how I got connected to therapy back then. Sources: California Community Colleges Chancellor's Office; icangotocollege.com; LACC EOPS.

3. On the first-gen experience and mental health: Research backs up how real this weight is. A systematic review of 62 studies found that first-generation college students experience heightened anxiety, depression, and stress — especially when the demands of school conflict with the interdependent, family-first values they were raised with (Journal of American College Health, 2025). A large national study using Healthy Minds data (192,202 students) found that even when first-gen students have the same level of symptoms as their peers, they use mental health services at significantly lower rates — pointing to real barriers like stigma, cost, and access (Kim et al., Journal of First-generation Student Success, 2023). Researchers also describe "family achievement guilt" — the specific guilt of moving beyond where your family started — as something first-gen students carry disproportionately.

4. On the immigrant/second-gen experience: The concept researchers use here is acculturative stress — the strain of navigating between your family's home culture and the culture you're growing up in. Meta-analytic research has linked acculturative stress to both depression and anxiety, and studies of the children of immigrants specifically connect it to depressive symptoms, self-esteem, and family dynamics (see the Children of Immigrants Longitudinal Study analyses, Journal of International Migration and Integration, 2024). A 2025 qualitative study focused directly on the intersection of first-year, first-generation, and second-generation immigrant identities, finding these overlapping identities compound mental-health challenges (Horne & Chukwuere, Healthcare, 2025).

5. On Latino household dynamics — and why they overlap with other cultures: The cultural value researchers most often study here is familismo (familism) — placing the family unit and its priorities above the individual. A systematic review found familismo generally acts as a protective factor against depression, suicide, and internalizing symptoms — a source of resilience (Valdivieso-Mora et al., Frontiers in Psychology, 2016). But it's complex: the same closeness can also produce parentification (kids taking on adult family roles) and guilt, which are linked to distress. And your instinct that it overlaps with Asian and Italian/Catholic families is well-founded — researchers frame these as interdependent or collectivist cultural orientations, a category that spans many immigrant and religious communities, not Latinos alone. That's exactly why a therapist doesn't have to be from your specific culture to "get it" — but they do need to understand interdependent family systems. Sources: Frontiers in Psychology (2016); Salud America; Journal of Child and Family Studies (2022).

6. Wellbutrin (bupropion) is FDA-approved primarily for depression, seasonal affective disorder, and smoking cessation — it is not typically a first-line treatment for anxiety, and some people experience increased anxiety as a side effect, especially early on or after a dose increase. That said, newer research is more mixed: a large comparative study found bupropion reduced anxiety about as well as SSRIs, so some providers do prescribe it when depression and anxiety occur together. Sources: Neuro Wellness Spa; Acibadem Health Library; Talkiatry; Medical News Today.

7. The likelihood of anxiety as a bupropion side effect increases at higher doses — patients on the maximum dose report anxiety more often than those on lower doses — which is why clinicians often start low and titrate slowly. Sources: Elevate Psychiatry; Ubie Health; Interborough.

8. Buspirone (Buspar) is not an "as-needed" medication. It must be taken consistently, usually 2–3 times a day, and typically requires 2–4 weeks (sometimes up to 4–6) of regular dosing before it works. It is not effective for acute anxiety or panic in the moment — unlike fast-acting medications. Missing doses reduces its effectiveness. Sources: Drugs.com; DrOracle; Ubie Health; Blossom Health; Philadelphia Integrative Psychiatry.